Are You Meeting Your Child’s 5 Basic Needs?

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Hey you,

So, you’ve heard of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs but you’re not quite sure what it’s all about and you’ve no idea how to apply it. Feel familiar?

Yup, I’ve been there too!

In this article I am going to provide you with a quick stop tour of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. More importantly, I’m going to explain why understanding your child’s 5 basic needs is vital to ensuring their happy start to school.

A word of warning, this is a big topic. This article will give you a flavour.

Be kind to yourself whilst you are reading and thinking. This article has the potential to throw up a whole load of mum guilt – urgh! Please, remember, you are here because you care.

We are all muddling our way through this stuff, me included! The best way I process this stuff is with my friends. Hey, that’s a need right there, a sense of belonging. As you are reading, please make sure your needs are met as well as your child’s. Be kind to you, so you can be kind to them.

Here for you,

Happiness

Have you ever said this…?

I just want my kids to be happy.

Yeah, me too. But, all too often it feels impossible doesn’t it?

From the day of our children’s birth we work tirelessly to meet their needs, to keep them happy. This is the key to our children’s happiness – understanding their needs and meeting them. This is our job, our honour.

Maslow’s 5 Basic Needs:

Very simply put, Maslow’s theory outlines the needs of a person and the order in which they must be met. These needs are vital as they motive our behaviours. For example, one of the primary needs of a person is the need to sleep. If a child is tired at school, their primary motivation will be to sleep (not to learn).

Here are the 5 basic needs as outlined by Maslow and the order in which they must be met:

1. Physical
2. Being kept safe
3. Feeling loved, a sense of belonging & feeling special
4. Development of self-esteem, confidence & being respected by peers
5. Stepping into self-actualisation (realisation of your talents/potential, development of ‘drive’)

Why Maslow’s is Important for You to Understand

Maslow’s hierarchy is important as it helps us to prioritise the needs of our children. Is your child having a massive tantrum? Have you worked through Maslow’s hierarchy to try and pinpoint what could be the cause?

We do this automatically when our children are babies. They cry, we ask ourselves, ‘Are they hungry, tired, do they feel safe?’ Without thinking we work through our children’s primary needs.

However (if you’re anything like me) as our children learn how to speak and become more independent we can forget about our children’s basic needs.

When my school aged children have a tantrum, I can (at times) forget to ask myself, ‘Are they hungry, tired, do they feel safe?’ Instead, tantrums can cause me to get quickly frustrated and angry at their (in my opinion) irrational responses.

If you are able to understand Maslow’s hierarchy you will be able to more rationally interpret your children’s needs and behaviours.

Watch the video below for a more detailed overview of Maslow’s 5 Basic Needs.

Reflecting on the 5 Basic Needs

We can use Maslow’s Hierarchy as a tool so that we can support our children with having a happy and secure start to school.

5 Basic Needs School Ready Checklist

• Does my child eat & sleep well?

If no, what can you do to support this? What books/blogs can you read? Do you need to speak to a GP for some advice?

• Does my child feel safe at home?

If no, what changes need to be made?

• Does my child feel safe when out and about?

If no, how can you support your child to feel safe in new scenarios? Are there any books you can read to your child to help?

• In what ways do I ensure my child feels loved by me?

This is your opportunity to blow your own trumpet! Write down all the great things you do that reinforce your love for your child like whispering, “I love you,” and wiping their snotty noses when they fall over.

• Does my child have a positive group of friends?

If no, think about some local groups you can join to support with friendship making.

• Is my child confident in who they are?

What boosts your confidence, try out some of these ideas on your child and see if they make an impact.

• Is my child respected (not feared) by their friends?

Think about ways in which you can support your child with social engagement with peers if you suspect their friends don’t respect them.

Action Points

Your child’s needs – what is your one takeaway from reading this article? Can you remember the 5 basic needs? How will you use this knowledge to help you support your child with meeting their needs?

Your needs – what need do you need to fulfil? What one thing can you do now to help you meet that need?

Other ways in which you can prepare your child for starting school.